Threatened to go to residential...

Good morning,

I didn't post last night because I was completely overwhelmed by an email I received.  I hadn't gone to my therapist in a couple of weeks but had agreed to go this past Tuesday. Well, as I usually am, I was completely honest with her when she asked me questions. Well, that was a BIG mistake. Listen from the wise: DO NOT TELL ANYONE HOW BAD IT GETS!!!

So, on Tuesday, before getting this email, I told my therapist I didn't want to come in for a while again. Just FYI, I was previously going in to therapy twice/wk and to my psychiatrist for medication management every other week (or more).  Hence why my medical bills were 4k+ last month...

The important parts of the email:

I appreciate your openness and honesty about not being motivated to do anything different or commit to any plan currently.   I also feel strongly that your lack of engagement  is a symptom of your current distress, and I need to be guided by what is in your best interests even if it doesn't match up with what you want right now.
Do you think you would be able/ willing to agree to the following in order to continue working with me and your other doctors?


1) Turn over the  laxatives to me
2) See the nutritionist weekly with weigh ins and another set of labs to check your electrolytes
3) Come in for medication supervision 3x a week
4) Attend sessions with  me 2x/wk and Heather 1 - 2 times per week
5) Send the food logs and begin tracking again
6) Resume taking Antabuse (with supervision 3X per week) -- this is a medication that I take to not drink

[blah blah blah blah] [dangerous] [physical and emotional health] [risky] [blah blah]

If you are not able to agree, we will have to conclude that CMC is no longer an appropriate treatment option for you and that you are in need of a higher level of care, meaning, a residential eating disorders program. 


So, back to me. Am I right in thinking that she just said "agree to this plan or else I'm going to force you into a residential facility."? WHAT DO I DO?  Honestly, I don't care about working with her or any of my other doctors anymore.  I'm so done with this.  Why is it that people don't understand that I DON'T WANT HELP. If you force someone into doing something they don't want to do, well, that person isn't going to get so much out of it, are they?  I'm just saying... if they force me into a facility or they make me see them a million times per week, I'm just going to lie about everything. That's a waste of all of our time and my $$.


I don't want the help that they want me to get. I want the help from you all. I know you won't force me into a facility.. Please, I could really use your advice!

Alright, I'm going to go work out for the first of probably 2 or 3 times today. Shhhh don't tell! :)  Hopefully today is better...

xoxoL